Week 3: When the Sun Stops Shining

MAN did I need these words of truth today!
I just got back from volunteering at the Union Gospel Mission Men's Center in downtown Seattle. Let's just say my comfort level was definitely stretched tonight!! I usually like to pray and prep myself a little before going to spend time with homeless people, and I didn't get a chance to do that tonight before I went. I haven't had a lot of experience with it, so it still makes me nervous and not having time to prepare myself made it all a little more uncomfortable. I love volunteering with youth and students, but adults, especially men, are a lot harder for me to connect with and have compassion for. I am always uncertain of what they will say or do, and that uncertainty turns into fear. I was fearful and uncertain and lacking grace when we got in the vans to drive to the mission. We arrived and were told that we would be sitting with the men during their Maundy Thursday service and that there would be an opportunity to participate in a very optional foot washing. I didn't know what to do with myself. I love the experience of a foot washing, but it's something that is very personal for me. I was not at all comfortable with the idea of washing a homeless man's feet. Funny, isn't it? If I would have lived in Jesus' time, I probably would've refused to wash his feet, or let him wash mine. Just like the disciples did....
After listening to the message in the chapel, I calmed down a bit as I sat and watched the others wash feet and talk among themselves. A man named Walter pulled out a newspaper article and asked me to read it. I did, thanked him, and gave it back to him. He then proceeded to tell me that he had written it and told me how he had been a journalist before he had lost most of his work and was forced out onto the streets. He was kind and joyful in it all, though he made it clear he did not enjoy being homeless. I wasn't sure what to say then, so I told him that I really enjoyed reading his article and that I would pray for him. He then said to me, "I'll pray for you, too. And I'll see you again one day."

I can't imagine what it must have been like for the disciples to watch Jesus be wrongly accused and crucified. I can't imagine what must have been going through their minds. They must have felt like they would have to live in fear for the rest of their lives, with no end in sight. When the sky went dark on that Friday afternoon, they must have felt as though the sun would never shine again. I wonder what they said to each other, where they went and what they did in those hours between Jesus' death and resurrection. I think they were fearful and uncertain and lacking in faith, though who could blame them? And then, Jesus returned.
And all of the doubts and fears were washed away. Jesus takes away all fear and uncertainty and lack of faith. Every day I need to be reminded of his sacrifice on the cross. How wide and long and high and deep is his love for us!! And, though I will never fully know the depths and heights of His great love and power, I  take comfort and strength in the knowledge that we don't need to fully understand it all to receive it all. I know that Walter understood this, too. And one day, I will see him again! By God's grace, and by Jesus' great love.