Solitude!

Hi friends! Sorry I'm still catching up on the blog posts... with moving out and moving back home things have been a little bit crazy but I'm finally getting settled in and can hopefully get caught up this week! :)

Solitude reminded me a lot of mediation.... something where I'm still trying to figure out exactly what it looks like in my life. I want to enter that place of solitude more than anything: where I can just let go of everything, completely trust the lord, come into His presence and know that He is here and that I am with Him. To get to feel His overwhelming love and be myself, completely vulnerable and open to whatever He wants me to hear. I personally loved when it says in the study that silence "puts the stopper on all self-justification." I definitely try to adjust my image to whoever I'm with so that I can feel loved and valued. But entering that place with God where we can't justify any part of ourselves or try to fix our image to please Him because we cannot even try to compare ourselves to all of His glory, honor, holiness, and power is definitely a little intimidating for me. It is when we realize that we can't even compare to his perfection that we enter into this humbling state where we realize we have nothing to offer Him, where all our masks and fascades drop, and where we just say here I am, a sinner, broken and in need of all you are.
I think I'm scared to enter this place of solitude... to be that vulnerable and to be that exposed to Our Creator. I think I'm also scared to see what God has to say... what He wants me to do... how He may want to push me past my comfort zone. I tried to enter that place of solitude after doing my quiet time but did exactly what Kristen says she tries to resist... my mind kept wandering to different things and I kept dozing off which kind of gave me a wake up call. I realized that I really need to pray about this and prepare my heart for going into that place of solitude. This isn't as simple as I made it out to be but to realize that by entering into solitude is entering into a place with the God of the Universe. This won't be easy but it will so unbelievable and probably nothing like I've felt before. And I really do hope that I can enter that place of solitude soon and be in the full presence of our Savior really soon! :)