Solitude

I like remembering/thinking that when I open my mouth there is such an extreme opportunity to offer excuses and be blind. We are, to the very core, so excited to justify ourselves. And we just don't cut it. So we should just be quiet. 

When I think about active trust/faith I am often reminded of Abraham. He had no idea who this God was. He had no bible. He had no church. He had no model. It was just Abraham and God. And Abraham didn't decide to one day talk to God. God always pursued him. It was all about their relationship, God and man. Right from the very beginning. Abraham was learning to trust God daily because God was revealing Himself directly to him. There was nothing to "help" develop it. No where for him to turn but to his pursuer. I used to be kind of jealous because of this. Obviously the bible is very important, and a gift. But sometimes I would feel like it was a wall. That we would go read our bibles because that's the way we have to experience God now. Just because we have it. But now it's proof to me that God desires intimate and unique relationship with each one of us. This is the story of God pursuing me and my response. This life is about walking with Him instead of just reading about Him.* 

* I don't mean to say that God doesn't speak to us through His word or direct us to passages. The bible is His word too. I just think that experiencing life with God through living is as important as the times (when we're living) when we are reading His word. It's like if you don't see who you're writing letters every once in a while the relationship gets boring. And personally I have a hard time connecting the two practices (reading within the walking) sometimes. I'm still learning about life with God. 

Sorry for the scattered ramblings. It's so hard to put my thoughts to words sometimes. They get stuck.