Devotions

I can't say I've been following the devotions week by week. I'm sorry, it's unfair to everyone else.
And clearly I've not had time enough to dedicate to it. Lately I have been so so so very busy with this new job.
Not only is it a lot to learn and time to dedicate and the hours are something to get used to, being so early in the morning, but I have had to, quite literally, go directly from work to school, come home to sleep so I can wake up early for work, then school again, come home late, go to sleep. I have hit this rut for the past month.
It got to me last night when all my different reminders and to-do list's alarms were going off and I looked at the clock to see it was 11pm, I had just gotten home. I had to choose, do these things that need to be done, or sleep so I can live to do them another day. (this blog incuded!)
I have to set time aside for myself. It's sad when my only internet time is literally, the few minutes I have between online quizes. And not just online for this blog, but connecting with my family is only in between breaks on my phone. My hobbies are long gone. I'm just an honest and hard working girl trying my best as a student to make it through this transition from 'claimed dependant' for my mom's taxes to my own 'as-it-would-be" life (: aka- hitting real life fully independant. And it's hard!
I wanted to be in the presence of the Lord last night so badly. I felt exhausted, like I wasn't doing my best because I was always tired, and like I myself wasn't in the best peace of mind. I was so depressed. I just wanted to calm down and sleep for more than 5 and 1/2 hours. The fear filled me with very real pain.
God is showing me that, although I have responibilities, I must make time for myself. Otherwise I am not being true to what I'm doing.
I can't go through the motions to just do them because I have to. I need to think about what and why I'm doing them and put myself into that.
I wished I had made myself more time in my availability. I just pray God will give me strength and persaverance (sp?) to get through these next 3 hectic weeks until school is out and I can focus on my mission to serve for the summer with all of you!!