Anyway, this devotional on guidance was pretty hard for me to read, mostly due to the dense language used in it. In order to really get the meaning of what the words were saying, you had to stay completely focused on it and not let you mind wonder for one minute. I found that I had to reread many passages because while I was reading I had become distracted by a thought. I find this remarkable because it's just like my walk with Jesus: every single day, He tries to tell and show me incredible, amazing things, but in order to hear and understand Him, I need to direct myself fully to Him. When I don't and my focus is shifted to something else, I loose part of what He's trying to say since I'm too concerned chasing something else.
A line that really stuck out to me was near the beginning when it said,"...We know nothing of what has gone before us..." Now, anyone who has gone to school or talked with people knows that we know about events that have gone on before we were alive, including the existence of great civilizations, the invention of new, astounding technologies, wars, and the death of an all-together awesome Jew on a cross! However, upon reflecting on this, I saw that we as human's don't know what went on before we existed! Sure, God gave us Genesis and in that book the beginning of everything is described, but do we really know about the beginning of things? Can we say we know what it looked like when God was carving the mountains into the earth and just how awe-inspiring it was when He brought the first light into the universe? No. We can only know of what was written for us from Him. To imagine the almighty God of the universe doing all these astounding things really makes you feel so small and insignificant in the scheme of things. The best part about all of that though is that God knows you better than words can describe, has an individualized plan for you and your life, and He wants to be your best friend forever! Woo!
On a different note, as you guys know, the emails came out for the fundraising and that was well, a painful and humbling experience. For all of you who were also discouraged by that message, here's a story for you!
Unfortunately, I've been incredibly busy this past couple months and I wasn't doing well with my fundraising at all. Sure, I sent out a message and asked a few people, but with my schedule and the perfect excuse of hating to ask people for money (which I'm still not comfortable with), I could've done more than I had done thus far. And so, as you can imagine, reading that email and seeing the tiny amount of money raised was shocking and flat out depressing. I thought to myself,"Come on God, you know I'm busy! I don't have time for this and I hate asking people for money!" Also, I have an issue with being prideful on occasion and this truly showed that. I was confident that I wouldn't have to pay any of the funds and that I would raise all the money necessary, but as it turned out, I hadn't. In fact, I had fallen incredibly short, which was quite embarrassing to me and my prideful ego. To have to pay with my own money would've meant that I failed, that I wasn't worthy of serving this summer.... I can't believe how silly that sounds!
It was then that it stuck me that this was a small example of how short we all fall in comparison to the glory of God. I prayed and felt bad about it for sometime, but once I got Alyssa's message it just struck me that all I can do is to do my best and to get up and fundraise despite how short I was at the moment. I quickly sent out another email, set some fundraising plans into motion, and whatever I can't get, I will gladly pay. Now I'm not saying that it's okay to just pay and not try to get out there and fundraise, but for me, I realized what a prick I was being to myself and God and for the moment, He's fixed that! Yay! In fact, since then I've already gained a good portion of the $500 through fundraising. Is He way too good to me? Yup.
And so, I just wanted to encourage the rest of you in your fundraising endeavors, no matter where you are with it. God is using this to teach us all amazing things and I pray that you each receive His message for you through it! God bless and see you all this weekend!
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